1. Recognise | Your inner talk
Start with awareness. It is often not easy to be conscious of our self talk, of those thoughts that come and go like the wind, yet keep recurring like an old broken recorder. Hence I call it NATO, Negative automatic thoughts orbit.
Observe your internal chatter. Is your self-talk kind or unkind? Understanding or judgmental? Gentle or harsh? Tune in to your inner voice and see if you can reframe that harsh coach from hell with more loving kindness.
2. Refriend | Your Inner Child
Would you say those words to a friend or family member? If the answer is no, then don’t speak that way to yourself. Instead, think about how you would support a friend in the same situation. Speak with kindness and compassion, replace your harsh negative thoughts with a gentle, encouraging voice, the way you would with your child.
3. Realistic | Goals
Do your expectations drive you or demoralise you? Or do you write ambitious to-do lists that five people would struggle to achieve? Try not to have a to-do list as long as your arm and then punish yourself if you don’t get everything done. Know what to let go of, understanding that it’s OK to let some things slide.
4. Rejoice | In your small daily wins
Relax with your favourite exercise, music and comfort food regularly . You don’t need a reason to be kind to yourself. Too often, we silence approval and affirmation until we achieve a big win. But how do you achieve something big? With hundreds – if not thousands – of small wins along the way. Every little step in the right direction is worth taking a moment to tell yourself that you’re doing great.
5. Reaffirm | Your self worth
Affirmations are short, positive phrases you say out loud to yourself, ideally in front of a mirror. Positive affirmations can sometimes (but not always) be helpful, depending on the topics and your headspace. Popular affirmations include “I am worthy”, “I am loved and loveable,” and “I see beauty in everything”.
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